5 Signs That Your Emotions Are Running You

When things are happening in your life, you may find that your emotions are running your life. Let’s say you just got a promotion and you are so excited. Suddenly, everything seems right in the world. You approach your co-workers, boss, family and friends in a positive and upbeat manner. You may become more energetic, innovative, and creative. You are on a high and your actions, thoughts, and feelings mirror that. But what if you lost your job (as I did recently)? How could that affect your actions, interactions and mindset if you aren’t controlling your emotions?

In reality, emotions themselves aren’t good or bad. They just exist. Whether you let these emotions influence your thoughts and actions, that’s what’s important. Recognizing and understanding of your feelings can help ensure that you are in control and that they aren’t controlling you. Knowing what you are feeling and how those feelings are affecting your thoughts and actions is a vital life skill.

You can’t stop emotions from welling up inside. But you can become more aware of how your emotional responses change your perceptions and how this could be influencing your behavior in negative ways.

If you aren’t sure if you control your emotions or your emotions are running you, here are five warning signs that your feelings may be in charge of your life.

#1. You react instinctively.

If your emotions are in charge, then you may often find yourself reacting to life’s circumstances with little thought or reflection. When you allow your emotional responses to control your decision-making, you respond to situations immediately; never take the time to calm down and let rational thoughts prevail. When you are emotionally charged, your amygdala has taken over your brain’s ability to think logically and clearly. If you wait until that immediate response subsides, you most likely will see the situation differently. It is then that you can choose the most appropriate and productive action to get the best result.

#2. You often regret your words or actions.

Has this this ever happen to you? Something happens that upsets you, and you respond in a negative way that may feel good in the moment such as yelling at the person or take revenge. But later, upon reflection, you feel sorry for what you said or did? If so, this is a sign you allow your emotions to trigger your behavior. Dealing with feelings of regret about how you treated a person, responded to a situation, or acted in front of other people means that you are making poor choices in emotional moments instead of learning to control your responses to your emotions.

#3. You hurt yourself and other people.

When your emotions are in charge of your actions and behaviors, you may end up hurting other people or yourself. Allowing your emotions to control you means that you are always on edge, a slave to shifting moods and ready to become engulfed in the next emotional situation. Friends, coworkers, and family may have difficulty knowing how to respond to you. In fact, you may not know what to expect from yourself. If you spend your life emotionally charged, your feelings end up controlling your decisions, which can lead to risky or careless actions.

#4. Your thoughts cause insomnia.

When you are full of regret over your emotional behavior, or when you don’t know who to handle yourself anymore, you can experience high levels of anxiety. This can cause you to lose sleep. You may go to bed replaying various conversations or actions you took because of your strong emotions and you feel embarrassed or regretful. You find that the movie of your bad reactions plays over and over and you wonder if sleep will ever come. This could be a sign that you are letting your emotions take over your life.

#5. You give up on your dreams.

When you live in a constant negative emotional state, it can feel like you won’t ever be able to accomplish what you want in life. This often leads to frustration and can cause you to quit pursuing your life goals. You may have lots of dreams. But if a situation arises that causes a setback, your emotions may take over and keep you from positively responding or being resourceful. By allowing your emotions to control you, you aren’t able to act in the most effective and empowering way possible.

Do you find that your emotions can sometimes take over and it’s hard to get back on track? Emotions aren’t easy to ignore. For many of us, one negative situation arises and it can ruin our day. If this happens day after day, we may find that our lives are way off track to what we wanted for ourselves, our families and our world.

As I shared in my emotional intelligence basics class, successful people have high emotional intelligence and two pillars which help us manage and control our emotions are self-awareness and self-regulation. The first step to becoming an emotionally intelligent person is to understand if our emotions are controlling us. Then we can begin to take steps towards mastery.

So let me ask… how effective are you at controlling your emotions? Which of these 5 signs do you find happening in your life?

If you want to learn more about your emotions and how to stop them from contaminating your life, please consider taking my emotional intelligence basics course.

May your life be spirit infused!