Tragedy Requires the Right Heart-Set

Recently, I lost someone very important to me and my family. He was older, yes. He had recently suffered a massive stroke, also true. He was already on borrowed time, right? I mean, when you are older and have suffered a major injury to the brain like that, then we should be prepared for him to pass away.

It is easy to say those things when you aren’t in the midst of the tragedy. It’s easy to think or even tell another person that he’s just too sick or to old to make it so prepare yourself. I wanted to tell that to the people I loved too. I thought that it would help make it easier for the day when he did finally do what everyone predicted… when he died.

Yet, knowing that the inevitable is going to happen and also being able to mentally cope with it, is another thing entirely.

Yes, it is so very important to have a positive and empowering mindset when dealing with all kinds of challenges in life. We have to look at losing a job as an opportunity for something better. We have to look at health issues as a way to improve how we treat ourselves or even as a chance to slow down so we can better cherish the life we have.

But how can we look at tragedy as a gift when we are grieving? How can we help those we love who are also grieving see the loss as a gift?

Sometimes, the right (or positive) mindset has to wait. Sometimes, the right mindset starts with the right “heart-set.” It starts with understanding that powerful feelings of sadness, loss, grief and even anger are necessary to healing.

You watch movies where the hero may have to get a wound cauterized. It’s extremely painful and can leave a scar, but the hero would die or be very ill if she didn’t go through it.

So during times of tragedy, we have to allow ourselves to feel this deep and intense pain. We have to cautarize our own inner wound by allowing the pain to strike deep. Then healing will come in it’s own time.

So right now, my right mindset is focused on the right heart-set. That is to say, it’s totally ok for all of us to be hurting and angry and scared. It’s ok to let those I love not feel joy, happiness, and peace.

Those positive mindsets will return. But first, we have to heal. And that takes time, through the cauterization of the wound called grief.

So if you are dealing with a tragedy, whether it be losing someone you love, a cherished career, your own good health, or some other painful event, allow yourself to develop the right heart-set. Be ok with not having that positive, empowering mindset. Be ok with the anger, fear, worry, pain, loss, grief, and sadness. Because you too have to cauterize the wound you are experiencing before healing can occur.

May you live your life infused with your unique spirit!